From someone who only had two friends in college.
Let’s cut to the chase. You clicked on this article because deep down you want to be a better friend.
And, from someone who used to fail to make and keep his friends back in college but now has more than enough genuine friendships — which is what we should strive for — I think I should make the cut, albeit, barely.
Let’s get to it.
Stop Offering Your Half-Baked Solutions
Instead, just listen.
Listen, when someone tells you their problems, 99% of the time they already know what they should be feeling, thinking, doing. …
“The older the problem, the older the solution.” — Naval Ravikant
Depressed, lonely, and a 2.43 GPA.
Those four words are more than enough to show you the whole picture of my life three years ago. For most of my years in college, you could find me alone in my room playing MOBA games at the crack of dawn, even though I have a math exam in four hours.
Still depressed, still lonely, but a slightly better GPA.
Last year, right before the pandemic struck the world, I was living a completely different life, though, not a particularly good one. …
It’s hailed as the king of exercises after all.
If you’ve been going to the gym for a while, then you know the squat rack is always empty. Or worse yet — occasionally, you see someone committing one of the cardinal sins of the gym: Repping out biceps curls in the squat rack.
So, why do most people avoid doing squats like a plague? Other than being physically demanding, the main reason why they aren’t doing it is because:
They think squatting is only good for building the lower body muscles.
Having this belief is a cardinal sin too.
Why? Well, I’m glad you asked.
Squatting build more muscles in your arms, chest, shoulders, and back.
Yes, there’s a right way to say it.
“The oldest, shortest words — ‘yes’ and ‘no’ — are those which require the most thought.”
— Pythagoras
Well, the father of the Pythagorean theorem wasn’t so smart after all — he was only half-right this time around.
In this day and age, a ‘yes’ would take no longer than a couple of seconds, and a ‘no’ — if ever uttered, or typed and sent — would take hours, if not days, at the very least. But, we all know that’s not how it is supposed to be, and that a ‘yes’ should be contemplated as much as a ‘no.’
You’re the ‘Rejector’ and the Reject.
…
Become a minimalist in decision-making.
Has it ever crossed your mind why candy bars are typically placed at store registers? Is there a science behind it? A superstition? Or, is it just a mere coincidence that all the stores in the world seem to have a similar layout?
To answer this question, let’s look at a study conducted more than a decade ago.
In 2010, researchers in Israel conducted a study on how judges make decisions on whether to approve or reject paroles for convicted criminals.
After examining more than a thousand hearings in the span of 10 months, they uncovered that the time of…
Slay it to get to the treasure room.
What stands in your way of stardom and success is not your loud, incapable boss at the office or the lack of money and opportunities. Nor is it your parents’ fault, the country you were born at, or the absence of talents you were born with.
Most of the time, your archenemy is the one that has been living between your own two ears — your mindset. Your fixed mindset.
Your Mindset is a Double-Edged Sword
What is a mindset?
To put it simply, a mindset is a way of thinking. It’s a collection of beliefs that helps…
I was supposed to graduate in three.
To this day, I still remember what my high school teacher had said to me in front of the class:
College will be the best years of your life.
They were the worst years of my life.
Why? Well, let’s take a look:
- I attended less than twenty percent of the total lectures in college. Paid for those classes with a student loan.
- I’ve failed eight exams; three of those I didn’t even bother to sit for.
- It took me five years to complete a three-year bachelor’s program. I’m the last one to graduate in my batch.
- Total friends made…
Shaving your head is optional.
What comes up to your mind when you see a man with unkempt hair, wearing tattered clothes — sleeping in a cardboard box on the street?
A homeless?
An addict?
A failure?
Labels. We put labels on others and ourselves all the time. It helps us to compartmentalize situations and behaviors — a defense mechanism so we know how to act (or react) when a situation arises.
In psychology, this is known as labeling theory.
Labeling theory is the theory of how your identity and behavior are influenced by the terms (labels) you use to describe or classify yourself.
Labeling is a Double-Edged Sword
Just…
There’s a cheat code for the lazies.
Have you ever start practicing a life-changing habit for a week, only to find yourself not doing it at all on the eighth day?
Then, you start to get angry at yourself for not doing it even if you want to.
And then you get angry at yourself for getting angry at yourself.
Now you’re Mad Max.
Shit.
Come on, what’s the magic word to make all this disappear?
Oh yes.
That’s it.
Later.
I’ll do it later.
Ah, everyone’s favorite word.
Let me tell you what later is.
The Neverland
Later is an enemy…
It’s by continuous self-reflection. Always has been.
We’re almost at the end of the year. I know — you can’t wait for this year to be over. The year that feels like you were forced to sit through the cult classic, Manos: The Hands of Fate on loop (hey it’s not that bad).
You probably have already heard of your friends’ declarations of their new year resolutions — their hopes and dreams. And, you might already have one as well.
Your list of what you want to do (and keep doing) probably look something like this:
- I’ll read every day…
